Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Oh what a difference a year makes...

Oh what a difference a year makes....
 
One year ago this week I decided to take control of my life... more so to take back control of my "out of control" life which has always been good, but full of busyness, obligations, work, more obligations, family, friends, my ongoing struggle with my weight, my health, my emotional being, and blah, blah, blah... the list goes on (you can read more about my story by going to the About my Blog section or My Story under the label section)...I am sure there are some of you who can relate....  I was trying to please everyone.... that I got caught up it everyone else..except for myself.  I forgot to take time for me...sure, I found time for stupid late night reality TV shows, dinners with friends, random last minute road trips...but I failed to take time for my own self improvement... I became so busy trying to "fix" everyone elses' life (yes, I am a "fixer" personality and so I like to try and "fix" everyone but myself).  I have also been one who keeps busy, sometimes too busy and in the busyness I lost myself..... so, I decided to make a change, I was feeling tired, run down, and honestly a little depressed.  My journey this year all started my very first ever visit to a therapist, or as I refer to him as "life coach", who finally gave me permission to "fix" myself and to stop worrying about everyone else... and that is what 2012 was all about for me!  It is so amazing to see what happened when I decided to take the wheel of my own life instead of just being along for the ride on so many other people's journey.... Of course this decision came with me having to make a lot, and I mean a lot of hard changes in my life in which I had to make some difficult choices resulting in a lot of tears...(maybe even more tears than I shed while watching the new Les Mis movie)... but it has all been worth it!  2012 has been one damn awesome year for me full of tears of both sadness and happiness, ups and downs...but over all a wonderful journey. 

Some of the AWESOME things that have resulted from me "taking back control", becoming, vulnerable and doing things that I never thought I would do include: 

1- Survived turning the big 4-0 by throwing my own pretty darn awesome birthday bash... "Reception" style... I figured since I wasn't married, I might as well have a "reception" and I registered for gifts, had a reception photographer and videographer, and was able to celebrate a often times difficult milestone birthday surrounded by the people I love.  It was a magical night and I loved every minute of it... Thanks to all that helped me make it happen...JILL! 

2- Joined a gym, weight watchers, and tried to make getting healthy a priority...which resulted in me losing 25 lbs.  I know, 25 lbs doesn' seem all that much over a year's time, but I have come to accept that my journey is going to be a lot slower than others... I am definitely not a black or white type thinker and because of that.... I have a hard time not being too flexible with any "diet" plan I have tried.... in the words of Captain Jack Sparrow... I use Weight Watchers as "mere guidelines" instead of hard and fast rules... so, my journey is taking a long time... but I am still committed to the journey.  I went to the doctor's for a physical last week and I was excited to hear that my blood pressure, cholesterol, and blood sugar levels were all normal...yay!  I think a lot of that has to do with eating better...or in my case, LESS and exercising. 

3- By meeting with a therapist I was able to let go of a lot of unhealthy beliefs I had about myself and self sabotaging thinking errors that had over the years become my best buddies and a way to stay in the funk that I was in.  By doing this...and continuing to use some of the tools he gave me, I was able to open up a lot more to those around me, and as my therapist said.... become more "vulnerable" and let people into my life... and not just my "surface" life.  Because of this, I feel like my friendships have become even stronger and I was able to open up to not only family and friends... but to single men (which has been an impossible thing for me in the past...and also meant signing up for an online dating website).  Yes, I signed up for online dating website which was scary at first... really scary... and I felt like I was opening myself up for a lot of rejection, but instead, I met quite a few really decent guys, opened up myself to a lot of new experiences, and found that the online dating thing actually boosted my confidence and I was able to enjoy a year of a pretty active dating life (which had been DEAD, and I mean DEAD for at least the past 15 years).  And from all of those online dating adventures, I was able to meet a wonderful guy and this new year, I rang in 2013 by celebrating it with my boyfriend...yep, I said it, my boyfriend Joe (and a Big Gulp of Diet Coke LOL) and I am looking to many more fun adventures with him in the future....


So there you have it my 2012 in a nutshell... I look forward to 2013 and continuing on my journey and hearing from all of you! 

Thanks again for all your love and support!  I am blessed to have so many wonderful people in my life and have been overwhelmed by the amount of support I have received from you on this crazy journey. 
 
Cheers to you and 2012!  Bring on 2013!